Comments on: Update http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/ Indeed. Thu, 10 Dec 2009 13:23:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=1.5.1-alpha by: Kelley http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-510 Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:52:24 +0100 http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-510 You know I have some idea about what the situation the woman is in ;) I also deal with a LOT of families with kids with all sorts of disabilities. I am sorry to say, but from what I have read, I tend to agree with her parents. Attention seeking. Hopefully she just needs someone to befriend her and drag her out for a coffee. The other kind cannot be helped. They bask in their childs disability, revel in the attention and the sympathy. People like that need to be slapped. But then again I am a little tired and emotional tonight. Tomorrow I might have a different answer for you. You know I have some idea about what the situation the woman is in ;) I also deal with a LOT of families with kids with all sorts of disabilities. I am sorry to say, but from what I have read, I tend to agree with her parents. Attention seeking. Hopefully she just needs someone to befriend her and drag her out for a coffee. The other kind cannot be helped. They bask in their childs disability, revel in the attention and the sympathy. People like that need to be slapped.

But then again I am a little tired and emotional tonight. Tomorrow I might have a different answer for you.

]]> by: Hyphen Mama http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-509 Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:30:08 +0100 http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-509 Where will her attention seeking end? If that's all that she's doing (which I doubt seriously) then will it require upping the ante each time? Will harming a child get her more attention? Will it ever be enough? What will get her the result she desires? I agree with Trish and Jayne. Threats of forcing the issue may help. She has entered 'the system' whether she likes it or not. She needs help, whether she believes it or not. I really hope the system doesn't lose her, even if she appears to not want help. A cry for help? Most definitely. Then feeling guilty, stupid, not-good-enough when the help comes. I really hope, for the children's sake, she gets the help she needs. Where will her attention seeking end? If that’s all that she’s doing (which I doubt seriously) then will it require upping the ante each time? Will harming a child get her more attention? Will it ever be enough? What will get her the result she desires?

I agree with Trish and Jayne. Threats of forcing the issue may help. She has entered ‘the system’ whether she likes it or not. She needs help, whether she believes it or not. I really hope the system doesn’t lose her, even if she appears to not want help.

A cry for help? Most definitely. Then feeling guilty, stupid, not-good-enough when the help comes.

I really hope, for the children’s sake, she gets the help she needs.

]]> by: tiff http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-508 Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:40:08 +0100 http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-508 waves hello hmmmm, a very hard fence to not sit on... but sit I will because you know how I feel about things. See? Told you I was a coward. Ha hhahahahahahaha waves hello

hmmmm, a very hard fence to not sit on… but sit I will because you know how I feel about things. See? Told you I was a coward. Ha hhahahahahahaha

]]> by: Mrs. C http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-507 Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:57:33 +0100 http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-507 Maybe this will be a wake-up call for the HUSBAND to get more involved. I know jobs take up a lot of time, etc. but when your wife is that far out there it's time to step up to the plate and make some decisions. Hope things go well for the kiddos especially. Maybe this will be a wake-up call for the HUSBAND to get more involved. I know jobs take up a lot of time, etc. but when your wife is that far out there it’s time to step up to the plate and make some decisions.

Hope things go well for the kiddos especially.

]]> by: Bettina http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-506 Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:55:04 +0100 http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-506 I would have to agree about services being crisis driven. It's certainly a difficult situation with no easy answers. I would have to agree about services being crisis driven. It’s certainly a difficult situation with no easy answers.

]]> by: Suze http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-505 Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:28:48 +0100 http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-505 I think I might comment properly tomorrow. I'm too tired to think this through properly, and give it the considered answer it so deserves. I think I might comment properly tomorrow. I’m too tired to think this through properly, and give it the considered answer it so deserves.

]]> by: Jayne http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-504 Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:13:07 +0100 http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-504 At a rough estimate I'd say she's overwhelmed with her children's disabilities, has very little support from her husband in the form of being able to discuss things with him, may be forced to feel like she should be able to cope with her parents caring for the kids as often as they do and probably has a form of depression. I agree with Trish - after just a week of broken sleep it's near impossible to just "drop off" into a refreshing slumber and no doubt she's well ingrained in the habit of waking often during the night whether the children are there or not. Not so much an attention seeker but more looking for the support she should be getting from hubby, hence why the relationships fail when she's sucked them dry. I would query how much emotional support she's actually getting from her parents, in light of their summary of her. At a rough estimate I’d say she’s overwhelmed with her children’s disabilities, has very little support from her husband in the form of being able to discuss things with him, may be forced to feel like she should be able to cope with her parents caring for the kids as often as they do and probably has a form of depression.
I agree with Trish - after just a week of broken sleep it’s near impossible to just “drop off” into a refreshing slumber and no doubt she’s well ingrained in the habit of waking often during the night whether the children are there or not.
Not so much an attention seeker but more looking for the support she should be getting from hubby, hence why the relationships fail when she’s sucked them dry. I would query how much emotional support she’s actually getting from her parents, in light of their summary of her.

]]> by: Trish http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-503 Sun, 22 Jun 2008 21:08:46 +0100 http://whybother.blogsome.com/2008/06/22/update/#comment-503 words on this subject don't come easy to me - I met far too many families like this as a nurse. Trying to leave my judgment out it sounds like she needs to be actively encouraged via threats to use respite care to care for herself. Some people who may seem to be crying for attention ... have every right to do so - how can anyone judge when it all becomes so overwhelming and they are hanging to their sanity by a thin thread. Then it all doesn't seems so bad the next day - so they refuse ... in the light of the fact accepting help is accepting they have failed or are defeated. I agree we all have those fleeting moments when we feel like we are drowning and alone but we keep our head up just till our feet touch the ground again... Other days we may be drowning in murky water,everyone is watching on the sidelines - saying swim - you can do it you have to do it...there is no other way including yourself.It is no wonder she is emotionally and physically spent. Even if she has nights where she doesn't have the kids who can say she gets a decent sleep ? there are other demons that might haunt her dreams.Worry. I appreciate my life even more after reading about this poor woman. words on this subject don’t come easy to me - I met far too many families like this as a nurse.
Trying to leave my judgment out it sounds like she needs to be actively encouraged via threats to use respite care to care for herself.
Some people who may seem to be crying for attention … have every right to do so - how can anyone judge when it all becomes so overwhelming and they are hanging to their sanity by a thin thread.
Then it all doesn’t seems so bad the next day - so they refuse … in the light of the fact accepting help is accepting they have failed or are defeated.

I agree we all have those fleeting moments when we feel like we are drowning and alone but we keep our head up just till our feet touch the ground again… Other days we may be drowning in murky water,everyone is watching on the sidelines - saying swim - you can do it you have to do it…there is no other way including yourself.It is no wonder she is emotionally and physically spent.
Even if she has nights where she doesn’t have the kids who can say she gets a decent sleep ? there are other demons that might haunt her dreams.Worry.
I appreciate my life even more after reading about this poor woman.

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