Hello?
So I come home from work. It’s Thursday, and I’m longing for the loving embrace of my family to welcome the breadwinner home. Ha! It’s 9.30pm, the washing is still on the line, the dog is still outside, howling at the moon, there are no lights on, and clearly, there is nobody home! Missing: one 6′ tall male, 100kg, grey hair, blue eyes. One 5′5" ten year old girl, blonde hair, blue eyes. Have they left me a note? Sent me a text? God forbid, called me on my mobile to tell me where the f*** they are? NO!!!!!
Don’t panic, I remind myself. If anyone was dead or severely injured, you would have heard about it. Take a deep breath. Ring Mum. "Oh", she says, "didn’t anyone let you know what was going on?" YOU THINK?????
It’s ok, Mollie is sleeping at Mum’s because Darren is at work. Next issue: there is no food in the house. Now, this is Cessnock, remember. It’s now AFTER 9.30pm, so of course, everything is closed. KFC has no chickens left. Coles is shut. That leaves Macca’s (ugh) or Woolies. Thankfully Woolies is still open (just), so I quickly scoop up bread rolls and ‘fake’ chicken (deli roll).
Just as I sit down to eat, Darren arrives home. At least HE’S eaten. I think I’ll have a beer and go to bed.
