whybother?

It’s Friday again already! This time last week….well, anyway. It’s like that movie "Groundhog Day". Same thing, over and over, you get the picture. Tonight is really almost a repeat of last night, except this time the lights were on. I know where Mollie is, and Darren is in bed. So still no warm, loving embrace! Whatever.

I went to the pub with some friends for a quick drink after work. It was really nice, very civilized. I caught up with someone I haven’t seen for ages, which was great. Things weren’t going well for him then, and now….life’s great! I’m so happy for him. He has a new job he loves and he’s moving to Sydney, so it’s all good.

My friends from work want me to go out with them on Sunday, and I said no, because I don’t think Darren would enjoy it, and I feel bad leaving him here on his own. Then again, why should I care? He is an adult, after all. I just wish we could do things together that we both enjoy. We lead really separate lives, which is partly because of the way we work, and partly (mostly?) due to lack of interest. I’m happy doing my own thing, and he seems happy doing his, but I don’t know if that is a sign of a healthy or an unhealthy relationship. I don’t mean we should be joined at the hip and never allow each other out of sight, but a bit of togetherness would not go astray. I suppose I could make more effort. I know he could!

I’m really tired, but don’t feel ready for bed. The book I’ve been reading is not exactly riveting, so that’s not an attractive option. I’m starting to wish I’d stayed on at the pub! I wasn’t drinking, because I had to drive, but at least there was some stimulating conversation! It’s a funny thing, but as a group, we all get on really well together. We actually like each other and go out of our way to spend time together away from work. I’ve never really experienced anything quite like it. I guess it’s because they are all single, and that’s what single people do. If they had partners, they probably wouldn’t choose to hang around with their workmates as much! I always feel a bit weird, acting like a single person, even though I’m married. I don’t mean that I play around…..not at all, it’s just that I really enjoy my time away from the family. Last weekend a friend invited me to do something with her and I had to force myself to say no, just so I could spend some time with Mollie. She’s not here this weekend, so in a sense I’m free to play, but then I still have Darren…back to square one. It would be difficult for him to socialize with people he’s never met. They’re happy for me to bring him along, and he would probably go, but then I’d be stressed. Is he enjoying himself? Is he bored? Does he wish he didn’t come? And if I go alone, I’ll be all I should get going, can’t enjoy myself too much, can’t drink cos I have to drive, etc, etc, etc. So I’ll probably end up not going. And that won’t bother me. I honestly don’t mind not going. I feel so torn…….I should go, to wave the flag and show that I value my friends, even though what they are doing doesn’t really interest me. I should stay home, to spend time with Daz, who will probably either have a sleep or go to a fire call. What do I really want? God, I’m such a typical Libran….it’s embarrassing. It’s not as if it actually matters one way or the other! Nobody will care if I don’t turn up. Darren won’t really care if I go. What a load of crap! No wonder nobody reads this.

So I come home from work. It’s Thursday, and I’m longing for the loving embrace of my family to welcome the breadwinner home. Ha! It’s 9.30pm, the washing is still on the line, the dog is still outside, howling at the moon, there are no lights on, and clearly, there is nobody home! Missing: one 6′ tall male, 100kg, grey hair, blue eyes. One 5′5" ten year old girl, blonde hair, blue eyes. Have they left me a note? Sent me a text? God forbid, called me on my mobile to tell me where the f*** they are? NO!!!!!

Don’t panic, I remind myself. If anyone was dead or severely injured, you would have heard about it. Take a deep breath. Ring Mum. "Oh", she says, "didn’t anyone let you know what was going on?" YOU THINK?????

It’s ok, Mollie is sleeping at Mum’s because Darren is at work. Next issue: there is no food in the house. Now, this is Cessnock, remember. It’s now AFTER 9.30pm, so of course, everything is closed. KFC has no chickens left. Coles is shut. That leaves Macca’s (ugh) or Woolies. Thankfully Woolies is still open (just), so I quickly scoop up bread rolls and ‘fake’ chicken (deli roll).

Just as I sit down to eat, Darren arrives home. At least HE’S eaten. I think I’ll have a beer and go to bed.

So the big 10th birthday celebrations went off with a whimper (as opposed to a bang). We did get 30mins off the phones, however the manager spent 20 of those precious minutes going blah, blah, blah. There was a massive birthday cake and some fruit platters, and yes, we did get a present (of sorts). We each got a new lanyard for our access passes (woo hoo), an enamel badge and a CDROM of the organisation’s achievements. Hold me back. It was so exciting, I can’t begin to tell you.

What else can I say?

was over too soon! As with every weekend! Saturday was cold and miserable. Sunday was absolutely beautiful…so warm and sunny that Mollie braved the icy waters of the pool. I guess it wasn’t too bad, as she was in there for over an hour.

Daz got busy bringing the grass back to life, after spraying for bindis. How fascinating. No wonder nobody reads this! I’ll be heading off to work shortly. It’s the tenth anniversary of the organisation today, so there is a ‘party’ on at work. I use the term party very loosely. Basically it’s an excuse to dress in casual clothing and eat junk food. I can hardly wait. The only possible highlight is that we may be given an hour off the phones to partake….but I won’t hold my breath.

Why do some people feel the need to treat others with reckless endangerment? EG: Tonight. I’m driving home from work at 9pm (as I do every weeknight). I’m driving along a dark country road, behind a car, with another car behind me. We turn left onto an even darker road, going uphill on double lines, when WHOOOOOSH! From the car behind me comes a lunatic in a Commodore, travelling at well over 140kph and overtakes all three of us. Narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with a truck! Now this is a two lane road……had they collided, it would have been all over for all of us! There was nowhere to go. I was soooo angry. Now I’m the first to admit that I don’t always adhere strictly to driving laws. I find speed limits somehow……limiting. I occasionally overtake in less than optimal circumstances, but NEVER, in my entire life, have I done something so completely stupid and dangerous. I mean, really, if that driver wants to commit suicide, that’s fine with me. Just don’t take the rest of us with you buck!

So, we dragged ourselves up to the Bay, to do the whole in-law thing. Such joy. Such unbridled pleasure. What a complete waste of a day! We didn’t even go out for lunch. Not even to the crummy club! We had cold corned meat and veges. How exciting. And we were expected to stay for dinner. Consequently, it’s 8.30 and we’re not long home.

On the upside, we got presents! It’s Darren’s birthday tomorrow, and mine next month. They gave us this cool machine- I don’t know what it’s called- that records TV programs onto some kind of computer thingy. It lets you record something while watching something else, but most importantly, you can cut out the freaking commercials! It doesn’t change the fact that there’s actually nothing on TV, but if I ever take the plunge and get pay tv it could be really handy. One of my pet hates is actually television. Even on the rare occasion when there is something on I may actually want to see, the commercials drive me to insanity. I rarely watch a program all the way through, because I get so cranky with the interruptions. A commercial will come on, I’ll get up to go and do something, and by the time I come back I’ve missed some crucial part of the story. At that point, I usually go to bed with a book. Which I would have really preferred to do in the first place!

I’m a bit cranky about today. It’s not that it was really that bad, just that it was so damn boring. We drove all the way up there, had lunch, I read a book, had a snooze, we had dinner, then we came home! It was such a waste of time. Tomorrow morning is a bit of a write off too, because we have church at 9am. I’m teaching Sunday school and Mollie is an altar server. Only once a month though, thank goodness. If Daz has any sense, he’ll stay in bed!

There’s a village fair on at Broke tomorrow, so if the weather’s nice I hope we’ll go and have a look. It’s been raining all week, so I don’t hold out too much hope. Even if the weather’s ok, the ground will be a mess out there! We’ll see. To be honest, I don’t really fancy doing anything that’s going to cost money. We’ve had all our monthly bills this week, so there’s not a whole lot left to play with. With a bit of luck it will be a crappy day and everyone will be happy to stay home and watch movies. We’ll keep the heater on and make popcorn…..that sounds like a plan!

I’m pleased to say that I have not been tempted to try out any new activities this weekend. I have now fully recovered from my horse incident (see previous entries!) and don’t anticipate doing anything that silly in the near future! Despite my nana nap, I’m just about ready for bed. I have a couple of books on the go, so I may creep into bed, stick the electric blanket on and indulge myself in a bit of escapism.

Thank God it’s Friday! Have I mentioned before that i love Fridays? Fridays are great for several reasons….it’s casual day at work, so I get to wear my jeans. It’s the last day of the working week, gotta love that. What a week!

The pain from the horseriding episode has now subsided to the point where my back is only stiff after extended periods of sitting down. I had a rostered day off yesterday, so I caught up with some friends and read a whole book! I don’t get as much time to read as I would like, and it’s one of my favourite pastimes. I read a Kathy Reichs book. She is a forensic anthropologist and writes novels about her professional experiences. Quite similar in tone to the Patricia Cornwell novels, which I also love. We went out for lunch, I managed a snooze and took Mollie to her violin lesson. She is going really well, and her teacher is doing a fantastic job with her. She has learned more from him since February than she has ever learnt from two other teachers and four years of lessons!

We are going to visit the inlaws tomorrow- oh joy! It’s Darren’s birthday on Sunday, so I guess his parents deserve a small look in. No doubt they’ll regale us with tales of their fascinating lives, and if we’re really, really lucky, they may even take us to the club for lunch! Every time we go to see them they take us there. It’s like this big treat…only not. If you see what I mean. The Bay is a happening place, with award-winning restaurants and cafes all over the joint. Some of my favourite eateries are located at the Bay. So we go to the club. For schnitzel and chips. Or fish and chips. Or sausages and chips. You get the picture. Why visit one of the finest seafood restaurants in NSW? Why waste time and money on a sumptuous feast, when you can get roast of the day for $10? And the beer is on tap!!!!

Ok, I’d better pull my finger out. I promised a mate I’d go and see her for coffee this morning, and I’m still sitting here in my pyjamas.

Oh my God, the pain! We went out last night, as planned, and it was terrific, except for my beloved telling everybody about my unfortunate horse riding experience! I could hardly walk, so everyone would have known anyway. I got no sympathy, only hilarity and mirth. The common question was "and what exactly were you doing riding a horse in the first place?". Honestly, you think you can count on your friends, but NO! Poor old Box, every single time he looked at me he burst out laughing! He couldn’t help himself. Oh well, at least I provided everyone with a good giggle.

My ankle swelled up to twice it’s normal size, and the pain was such that I could barely stand on it. Darren strapped it for me when we got home, and the relief was immediate. It was still a bit swollen this morning, so I’ve kept it strapped, but it’s not bothering me. My back is a different story. It’s been absolutely killing me. It’s not so bad now, but I had a lot of trouble standing, sitting and walking. I can only lie on my right side, which is a bugger, as I usually sleep on my left. I’ve had a pillow between my knees and another one under my foot. At the moment, I’m getting around a bit more easily. A friend mentioned the fact that the old thighs and butt will probably be sore tomorrow. I’m getting twinges already, and my stomach feels as though I’ve been trying to do sit-ups! All in all, I feel a lot better tonight, but I’m not overly looking forward to tomorrow.

We had a nice day out today. Mollie came home with Father’s Day presents for Daz. He got a shirt, a pair of shoes, a book and his favourite chocolates. He actually wore the shirt and shoes when we went out- I’m impressed! We had a drive out in the vineyards, and then stopped at a pub for lunch. It was very cruisy. It was another gorgeous spring day and just beautiful for driving around and having a look. There were heaps of people out and about. All the restaurants and cafes were chockers. We ended up at Crowne Plaza to see an art exhibition. One of my favourite artists, D’arcy Doyle, was on show together with a couple of other iconic, Aussie artists. I was speculating about lashing out on a small painting, but even the little ones were over $3000! Sorry, I don’t admire his work that  much! Some of the larger works were selling for $38000! Imagine being switched on enough to invest in him way back when! He only passed away a few years ago, so I imagine the prices will continue to increase for a while yet. Meantime, I’ll stick to prints.

At the moment, the dog and the cat are having a punch up. I’m over their misbehaviour. One of the cats was not desexed correctly, so every few months she goes on heat, which means she walks around the house yowling her head off at the top of her lungs. She sleeps either with the dog, or in the dog’s bowl- don’t ask. The other cat loathes the dog, and takes every opportunity to hiss and howl at it. She’s a real bitch of a thing. A friend brought her new puppy over to play this afternoon. Ruby Blue is only 8 weeks old and so impossibly cute. What a pity they have to grow up. She played and played with Mollie, then fell asleep. She had to be carried to the car like a baby! My friend and her partner are completely besotted with her. I believe she’s even been sleeping on their bed! Mind you, I have been known to sleep with my animals on my bed, but not these days. These days the animals are relegated to the back verandah every night. Every now and then one of the cats will sneak in, and it’s lovely to have her curl up with me, but not something I actively encourage.

Back to work tomorrow *sigh*. I love my weekends, and Monday mornings are hell. I have a rostered day off this week, so that’s certainly something to look forward to. I wonder if I’ll be able to resist telling my friends at work about my horsey adventure? I’m sure I’ll spill the whole sordid story. I love an audience, and a chance to make people laugh.

Star Struck was amazing! I was totally blown away at the talent and professionalism of those kids. I can’t get over the confidence and enthusiasm they have.

This morning I decided to do something I haven’t done for over a decade. I thought "it’s the first day of spring, the weather is gorgeous, let’s do something outdoorsy". With that, I arranged a trail ride for Mollie and I. What the hell was I thinking? It started off well, with me mounting (get your mind out of the gutter) an elderly gentleman called Wilbur. The trail leader assured us we would be maintaining a gentle walk. NO trotting, and certainly no cantering. No problem! Towards the end of the hour, I was beginning to relax and enjoy my surroundings when all of a sudden the frigging horse decided to bolt! Now, keep in mind that I haven’t ridden a horse for about 14 years, and the fact that I probably weigh about twice as much as I did then, and you begin to get the picture. I held on for a few paces, screaming "Whoah!" to no avail. Just when I thought it was all good, the frigging saddle slipped, and over I went. "Thump!" I thought I would never walk again. Mollie was screaming, I could picture her horse bolting, or else being trampled to death by poor old Wilbur, who had NO idea what was going on!

After a while, I realised that I could breathe. After a few breaths, I realised I could also move, albeit painfully and slowly. Mollie’s horse came over to see if I was OK, and dribbled on my glasses! That was it, I cracked up laughing. There was no need for the Westpac Rescue Helicopter, nor even the need for a trip to the emergency room. Thank  you God. I am extremely stiff and sore, although I’ve had a good soak in the tub. Most importantly, I’ve finally come to grips with the fact that I am no longer a young woman. At 32 years of age, any attempt at youthful exuberance or activity is fruitless. Such is life.